Introduction:
This is part three of a four-part blog on transition from driving for older adults. I wrote the original blog from December 2009 to January 2010, and I am updating each entry to explain how we worked as a family to help our parents make a smooth transition from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat. The update on what actually happened follows this earlier blog.
Key Take-aways:
- Use Rides in Sight, the free, searchable online database of all transportation services for older adults and people with mobility challenges in the US with a toll-free hotline (855-607-4337), to explore all available transportation alternatives including volunteer transportation programs, taxicabs, for-profit ride share options like Uber and Lyft, buses and paratransit services;
- Involve older family members in this planning phase as much as possible; and
- Make sure you have a backup plan.
Chapter Three: Planning for the Transition from Driving
I’ve been working in senior transportation and specifically on the Independent Transportation Network for almost 20 years. My parents have helped and supported this work throughout that time. In the beginning, my Dad said things like “When are you going to get a real job,” and “Are they paying you yet?” After a while, he was proud of the progress we made.
Still, when the time came for him to stop driving, there was no ITN in his New York community. Both of my parents grew up in New York City, so they grew up with public transportation. My mother did not even learn to drive until she was in her 50’s. My parents were living on Long Island, in what could easily be described as a transportation-rich community. They had access to trains, buses, paratransit services, airports, private bus services, limousines and taxicabs. However, by the time they reached their later years, the only way they would travel was by private automobile.
I spoke with our parents about the transportation services available to help them if they limited driving or had to stop driving. Fixed route buses were out of the question, since they could not walk to the bus stop and certainly could not carry packages. My mother identified the paratransit service for her community and sent away for the application, which she completed and returned. She phoned her friends who had stopped driving and asked them for the name and number of the “private driver” who took older people to doctor’s appointments. During one visit to my folks, on one of our daily exercise walks around the neighborhood, my mother pointed out the home of the local taxi driver she thought she could trust. She called his company and made arrangements to use their services when she needed them.
So, it seemed we had a plan. Alternative transportation, access to caregivers, names and numbers for doctors and hospitals, prescription drug information—everything we thought we needed to help two wonderful people live their lives exactly as they chose, where they chose, on their own terms. We even had a backup plan, an independent living facility near my sister, where they could move, God forbid, if they needed to leave the home they loved.
The plan was in place in the nick.
Update:
Sometime after we started the alternative transportation planning conversation with my parents, my Mother decided it was time for my Dad to stop driving. I am not exactly sure when it happened, but my Dad’s health took a turn, and he needed to visit about three doctors a week. My mother took over the driving and with it, her campaign for my Dad to move to the passenger seat. She began by donating her car to a charity and driving his vehicle. A truck came to their home and towed it away. She was proud of this progress and assumed responsibility for driving. I drove with her a few times, and it was a scary experience. She drove up over curbs and changed lanes without looking. She was extremely uncomfortable driving, since she only started in her 50’s and did not drive at all as long as either of her husband’s took the helm, which was all the time.
To be continued…
